Salam. Hello again readers! Ok, i actually don't really have anything to write. but since i have sort of neglected my time here for not blogging anything about these past few days, so i might as well, put something in.

There have been a lot of things going on in my mind. I have been getting pissed very often lately and it's starting to scare me a little. I really don't know why. Maybe its because the lack of rest and sleep is really getting to me or maybe its because i choose to be cranky. Or maybe i just get irritated very easily nowadays.



I think i am overwhelmed.. I am soo obviously out of control right now. Two days ago, i am sending him a message says "gud nite". Oh God..i am so sorry for being so ridiculous. I just can't get over it. Sorry i couldn't helped myself. I caught myself boundedness being such unprofessional and trapting myself with boredom inside which predominated me  from feeling empty and started missing him like crazy. I am crazy right now. I must admit it. I can't even dance with all my troubles away. Ohhh!!! i'm not supposed to say this..



It is true that the sajadah is only your best friend. They never betrayed you and always be your best partner. Get yourself close to Allah is the only way can make you feel comfortable and lead you to calmness. Yes..i am now feeling much better even though i still can't throw him away from my mind. I miss him..

Salam and hello everyone. It's been a while i haven't update my blog since i have been very busy this week searching for my maroon paper with roses texture, it is actually an implementation for my DCG final project presentation later. I have search for it everywhere but i still can't find it. It's very disappointing. What else..? Oh yeaa..i am now wearing my braces and still i can't get used of it yet. I can't even eat hard food since my teeth feel so nilu and it was very painful! I can't even bite anything. Maybe it will take time. What can i say.. i need to stand this pain. This is just temporary. :)

First and foremost, my head was hit by a question. I am quite surprised lately when i looked at others attitude change in a split of time. Why they need to be so desperate? I am just wondering myself.. Some part of it, a men i thought i ever known for all this while, became so desperate looking for his new girlfriend here and there without even care of anything else, there's no need to get to know her first and her behavior or what.  What sort of man are you actually? a "tangkap muat" guy i think... I know..i don't have right to get involve in your personal matters but i felt so sad when i see one man increasingly changed too fast.. It sad. So sad. It seems like i don't know who you are now. You are a real stranger to me now. Its truth that very hurts. We humans are never content with what we have aren't we? Admit it you people. You too felt the same way don't you? We try to be good and thankful for what we have but one of the seven deadly sins never seems let us off its hooks. Driven by the greed, we crave for more and more though we already have what we need. What we owned never seems to be able to satisfy our desire. Don't you realize that you need more time to learn about others, especially a girl?


Right now, i don't feel that good. I tried to build up my self-esteem but every time i did, it never seems to be enough and there are always things trying to break it into piece and see it fall in an avalanche. Damn i am tired. I want a lot of things right now but every time i'm captivated by that ruthless desire, i'll picture the sad faces of my family who would be very disappointed to see me acting like such a looser. Remember..God gives us only what we need, not what we want.


I am just jumping off buildings with my arms out like wings and listing my sins instead of taking square roots. I am just lying with my eyes closed and laughing when i'm angry. And someday i will be spitting up fire and crushing fireflies and leaping into piles of corpses. someday i will be breaking my bones and splintering the strings in the pathetic rhythm and snapping my heart with an axe to see what color it is. But until that day, i am not reckless.

I am just crushing glass with the blade of my thumb and putting my hand in the fireplace and inhaling the smell of burning flesh. I am just floating down the river and swallowing capsules and trying to fit in.
and someday i will be running off rooftops and eating staples and pruning briars with my bare hands. Someday i will be crashing into closed doors and putting aspirin into yoghurt and drinking cups of arsenic.
But until that day, i am not hurting. -its a literature of a life stories of one author.

I am just can't get you out of my mind. I am just throwing those memories wishing wells and whispering your name on and naming stars after you so i have someone to talk to. And someday i will be drawing hearts smile for you. Someday i will be planting you flowers and making you graves and crying into cups of tea because my heart hurts. But until that day, i do not miss you.

i am just banging on the window and throwing my eyes to see the view and whimpering for help. I am just clawing at the walls and not recognizing my face and running away from something i never had. Someday i will be throwing up in trash like throwing away my life. But until that day, i am not lost.

The truth will speak for itself.
So, be true as it is the only tool to be you.

Take care everyone.
Love ya.
:)

Salam. I got sooo many works that i need to settle now. Recently, i have made a payment for my nc paper. I have two nc for my project which is i need to submit on this coming February. At first i am quite tension and i can't even stop crying because i was too scared to get in that situation. I was afraid that time if i can't make it well for my project submission. I am so in trouble now! Yeaa..i know its my mistakes and I'm not going to blame anyone because i'm the one who always take for granted on everything i do. Oh my..i am so sorry..  I just can't handle everything in a good way since i am facing with too many difficulties in my life. Such a horrible life i gone through.. I know theres a lot of people out there who facing even more worse problems than me. But i just can't pretend like everything fine.. The truth is, i am not fine at all now..

About my project? hurmm.. I'm just afraid if i can't make it well and submit it on time. My confident level is up and down. But then, after i take a look at other student subject registration paper.. I felt so released! I can't imagine how huge trouble their facing now. I can't believe it.

Thank God.. And Alhamdulillah mine is not that hard for me to carry. I started to think positive. Yes! I can do it! I can finish it! Yesss absolutely yes!!






Oh! one more thing..as i mentioned in my previous post about my practical period..?
I have delay it.. I guess i can't go for practical all alone by myself. I need my other colleague while perform for practical. At least i don't feel like stranger sitting next to other experience workers there. :)


Besides, I can't earn some money while waiting for them. So it will be easier for me to support for my own needs. And......get a new hand phone also! A Blackberry all i wanted so muchhh for all this while..

I am going to find for a job in this 6 months while waiting for others. And after that i am going to KL and complete my practical over there. Yes..i am going! Hope everything goes according to what i planned.

InsyaAllah.. God willing..




Thats all for now.
Take care everyone.
:)

Salam. Hello everyone! Its been a while i haven't update my blog since my last post. So here it comes. I just got so much to share with  guys yet i don't know where to start. Oh! i have made 2 tag board in my blog with the greeny color one just to attract your attention. Alah babe come on..just tag tag and tag la.. Tell me no matter it is bad or good just voice it out. Tell me anything that crossed your mind. But i only reply to the good one la. Easy easy one la! Haha! :P



I kept treating myself obnoxious tremendously since i broke up. I am totally lost. I feel like he is still around. And i can't stop myself from thinking of him. Arghh! I know my friends will hate me when they heard about this but i just can't figure it out. Maybe i just not a well digest of what is going on now yet. It will take time longer than i  expected. At some point of time, i am jealous with people around me, seeing them holding hands, hugging with their partner. I can't even listen to love song! I prefer listening to hard core song better! Sorry guys.. It makes me think of him.. Oh my.. I am sooooo jealous!

Erm..lets talk about my last few days. I haven't get my beauty slept well this week. Since i was struggling myself doing my revision for 3D paper on last thursday. I kept pushing myself study! study! study! UH..pfft.

Know what guys? I didn't understand single words i read but i still read it until i had back and head ache just because i got so many free stun while studying it. LOL! All my muscle are stiffness already. But actually i vain it because i didn't kept anything from that notes in my brain. Just tired and wasted.. Haha! :(

I have done my * 3D final paper last thursday. First of all, when i open the paper. I started to laugh at myself. Haha! What the hell am i reading! Theres nothing to do with what i'd already revised! No connection at all! I am so pissed off with that paper. And it was so intricate! It was too difficult to answer! I don't know either i am answering it correctly or not. Just pray that i pass the exam. No more delay! I need to go for my practical afterward!

Alright! my next plan is..? * resume! Oh God.. i haven't working on it yet. So i need to settle everything only in 1 week. =_="

I thought like applying for * The Star Publication Sdn Bhd. If only i can get in there. Where else can i find places that accurately suitable for graphic post..? Hurmm... I can't think other than The Star. Besides, i need to choose a better place where i can show my ability marks for my diploma grade certificate later.

This one is really making me bingetsssss one...i need to working on my * DCG final project during my practical.. hukhuk.. :( What to do guys.. I have to accept it because its my fault for not done anything for my DCG final project yet until the end of this semester. I couldn't helped it. There was so many obstacles coming around until i can't even concentrate on my final project well. I am only done a few research about the company i have chosen and thats all! Sigh.. I just hope that i can handle everything well by doing two job instead in one time. InsyaAllah..

Thats all for now. Good bye readers!
Love ya!
:)

How i wished i could turn back time.. :(

Good evening sweethearts! What should i say here..i slept at 6 am in the morning since i cant get myself into deep beautiful sleep. I did online first for a while and started to felt bored. So what i do is, offline! I wished my friends good night just in time before i shut down everything. Heee.. I thought like want to have some nap first but still i cant get to sleep. I kept stay awake till dawn!

The time before i went to bed, i took soluble first since i felt like having flu. arghh! Hate it!

I wake up late today, at 1.20 pm. I was shocked! I dreamed about someone since i cant get myself over it till now. Yes..i did dreamed of it many times lately until i afraid i might not be able to fulfill some work with full concentration. God sake.. i miss him..

Later i wake up, washed my face and brushed my teeth first before having my nescafe. I just cant get  rid of nescafe and feel like addicted to it. I tried not to take too much of caffeine, so i take hot milo at night. Looked, theres a cup cake on my dining table and only left one! So i ate it. Yummy..so delicious! I want some more!

I drink plain water while having my lunch at 5 am which is its time for tea time actually. lol! wake up late meh..so theres no more tea time break for me. haha!

Hurmm..after having my lunch, i took about half an hour rest before i went to bathed. Finished bathing, i have done a few work since my mom keep nagging at me none stop because i seldom stay at home. huh! tired.. And now, here i am in front my laptop again while updating my blog. heee..

Well, its time for coffee fellows! Good bye everyone. Catch u guys later.
Love ya!

:)